Call it Intuition

(Paper dolls to do something to keep my brain from obsessing)

 The last week of September brought us a rush of activity, not of the good kind.

Just five days after the parking lot confrontation, where I held Oltimer's hands and begged him to stop, where I asked him to promise me he'd at least go back to the person who had always made me feel safe, I found him in the parking lot again.  He'd been to the casino but only stayed about 45 minutes, which is highly unusual.  Thinking he was elsewhere, I ran an errand to the usual strip mall to mail a package and pick up dog food.

As I got out of my car I saw him zipping down the parking lot aisle in front of me, window down.  I watched in shock as he slowly drove up and down the aisles, looking for who-knows-what.  I'd seen enough and walked into the postal service office; I saw him leave the parking lot to head home.  When he got home, he called to see where I was, and I told him I was on the way.  When confronted about seeing him in the parking lot, he claimed he'd gone out looking for me.

Two days later, he was off "running errands" again.  He was gone a long time.  I picked up the Life360 app and found that his car was parked on the side of the road, just about a half mile from home.  Intuition... and the Life360 app showing him on the move again back to the grocery store... I got in my car and checked.  Yes, there was his vehicle, with a sheriff parked behind it.  Oldtimer's vehicle was empty.  I approached the deputy who was stiff-necked and refusing to say much of anything.  The deputy did state that Oldtimer had gone for a ride with another deputy, back to the grocery store.  I asked if it was because he'd been hassling women.  The deputy said "maybe."  I put my head on the edge of the open window and said "shit, shit, shit." Then I apologized to the deputy for swearing, as if he hadn't heard anything like that before. 😂

Knowing I would not get a straight answer about what occurred, I was going to head to the store myself to see what was going on.  The deputy advised against it.  He feared escalation, stated he couldn't stop me, but it could make the situation worse.

Sure enough, when Oldtimer finally returned home, he claimed it was nonsense, that he'd been brought in to view videos because a woman claimed he harrassed her and he hadn't.  He was agitated and angry, and couldn't understand why I didn't believe him.  I sat and listened to him rant, saying nothing.  Later in the day, I spoke with the store manager, to see what he could tell me. All he would say was that Oldtimer was a "known problem" and no longer welcome in his store.

The next day, I found a deputy parked at the end of my driveway, when I was walking to the mailbox.  When I returned, the deputy walked in with me and explained what had happened, and said Oldtimer claimed he had dementia, leaned heavily on that excuse, and asked me what the real diagnosis was.  I explained the diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment. Viewing the videos had been an opportunity for the woman to identify him.  She was pressing charges, which, after speaking with the county attorney, came down to third degree assault.  He'd grabbed her butt in the cart area.  In many other states, this would be a degree of sexual assault.  Oldtimer had a court date.

I hired a divorce attorney.